Pappu: I sent my girlfriend a "Get Better Soon" card.
Bunty: I didn't know she's sick.
Pappu: She's not sick. She's just awful in the bed.
Santa: I sent the wrong texts to the wrong people.
Banta: So what?
Santa: Nothing really - but now my wife thinks that I'm going to make love to her tonight and my girlfriend thinks that I have to work late.
Girl: Slow down, foreplay is an art.
Pappu: Well, if you don't get your canvas arranged soon, I'm going to spill my paint!
Santa calls his wife, Jeeto, from the hospital. He tells her that his finger got cut off at the construction site where he works.
Jeeto: Oh my God! The whole finger?
Santa: No, the one next to it!
Santa: How do you protect yourself from AIDS?
Banta: I wear a condom all the time.
Santa: Do you ever take it off?
Banta: Yeah, when I go to the toilet and during sex!
Jeeto goes into a convenience store, "I need some batteries"
The guy, motioning with his finger, "M'am, just come this way".
Mimicking his gesture she says, "If I could come this way, I wouldn't need any batteries".
Santa is traveling in the train compartment with a girl. He pulls out a plate and starts playing it "Ding. Ding.Ding."
The girl gets annoyed, "You stop that."
He stops. Then when the night comes the girl takes off her clothes, looks at him and asks, "Do you want to do IT?"
Santa says, "Yes".
"OK, Go ahead."
Santa pulls out his plate and starts playing "Ding. Ding. Ding."
A doctor while acquainting himself with a new elderly blonde patient, asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After showing a blank face, she answered, "Why? Not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."
A blonde with big knockers always bought dresses that showed off her cleavage. Trying on a particularly low-cut dress she checks with the assistant if she thinks it's too low.
"Do you have hair on your chest?" the assistant asks.
"Of course not!" replies the blonde.
"Then this dress is far too low"
Jeeto: What's this I hear about you breaking off your engagement with Banta?
Preeto: Well, although his diamond was of pretty good quality, his mounting left a lot to be desired.
