Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A: A prostitute will stop screwing you once you're dead!
Q: How are blondes and turtles alike?
A: When they're on their backs, they're both screwed.
A blonde goes into a bar. The bartender asks her what she would like and she replies, "Bring me a beer." The bartender then asks, "Anheuser-Busch?" To which she replies, "Fine thanks, and how's your cock?"
Q: What is blonde-brunette, blonde-brunette, blonde-brunette...?
A: A blonde doing cartwheels.
Santa: Always close your curtains next time you make love to your wife, all the neigbours were laughing at you yesterday.
Banta: Well, the laugh is on them because yesterday, I wasn't fucking in the house.
Santa: My girlfriend just texted me saying, "I want you to get me wet when I get home."
Banta: So you're all set.
Santa: I can't wait. I've got 15 water balloons ready.
Q: Why are blondes' legs like railroad tracks?
A: They both never meet.
Santa goes into brothel in Bangkok & asks the madam for the fattest bird with the saggiest tits and a minge like a ripped out old fireplace, the madam asks, "Feeling kinky, Sir?" "No" replies Santa, "just fucking homesick!"
Banta: Why do they call it a "Wonder Bra"?
Santa: Maybe it's because when one takes it off, one wonders where the boobs went.
Q: How do you know a blonde is having a bad day?
A: Her Tampon is in her ear, and she can't find her pencil.
