No women can ever be truly satisfied on Valentine's day because no man has a chocolate dick, wrapped in currency notes that can ejaculate diamonds!
Sometimes we make love with our eyes;
Sometimes we make love with our hands;
Sometimes we make love with our bodies;
Always we make love with our hearts.
Happy Valentine's day!
Friendship is like peeing on yourself... Everyone can see it but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
Love is a name, sex is a game. Forget the name and let's play this game!
Fuck off. And when you get there, Fuck off a bit more.
Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole!
I'm no weather man, but expect more than a couple of inches tonight.
Facebook is a lot of hard work. I had to create a second account for my right hand, just so I could tell the world I was "in a relationship" with it.
Roses are red, violets are blue; I have 5 fingers, the middle one is for you!
Friends are like butt cheeks;
Shit may come between them but they always stick together.
Thanks for being my butt and the butt of my jokes!