My friend thinks you're hot & wants to sleep with you.
PS: I'm my friend!
Fuck texting,
Phone calls,
Tweets, Facebook walls
and
all other bullshit.
I want you here.
Fuck friends, I need more enemies. At least they admit, they don't like me.
Remember me if you wanna FUCK. You can always count on me for a good FUCK. F.U.C.K. stands for "Friends U Can Keep". Let's always be in FUCK state till eternity!
You are honestly the weirdest fucking person I know. And that is why we are the best friends.
A woman walked into a sex shop to buy a vibrator. She asked the man at the counter, "Where are the vibrators?"
He said, "Follow me, come this way" by waggling with his finger.
She responded, "If I could come this way, why would I need a vibrator, you idiot ?"
I just don't have enough middle fingers for today.
Oh, you like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime!
If I wanted to hear from an ass, I would fart.
I hate it when ugly people say, "I need my beauty sleep." Bitch, you need to hibernate.