I'm in my bed, you're in yours. One of us is obviously in the wrong place.
Don't call a girl - a bitch. Bitches hate that.
Do you sometimes meet people and think - was this really the fastest sperm?
Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!
There must be a keg in your pants because I want to tap that ass.
You have 206 bones in your body. Want one more?
Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, nudity, inappropriateness and shenanigans.
I love every bone in your body, especially mines.
An old couple sat in church. During the service wife whispers, "I have just let out a silent fart, what should I do?" The hubby says, "Put a f**king battery in your hearing aid"!
I'm ready to go on a treasure hunt. Let your body be the map.