Overheard a girl in a metro:
Behen Chod, Yeh BC Kya Hota Hai!
OH PLease...
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Karo Bhi...
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Karo Na...
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Jaldi Karo...
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Dekho Koi Aya Toh Nahi...
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Uff Karo Na...
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Ouchh... Jaldi Karo...
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Tum Bhi Na... Itna Waqt Lagate Ho...
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Sirf Ek Acchha Message Karne Mein!

Teacher: Ladkiayn Kab Badi Hoti Hain?
Boys: Jab Woh Bra Pehanne Lagti Hain!
Teacher: Ladke Kab Bade Hote Hain?
Girls: Jab Wo Bra Utarne Lage!

Sardi Mein Yog Nahi Sambhog Ki Zarurat Hai!
When a lot of sheep masturbate, the process must be called 'Muthbhed' (मुठभेड़)!

Boy: Tumhari Car Kaisi Chal Rahi Hai?
Girl: Theek Chal Rahi Hai.
Boy: Aaj Shaam ko Dogi Kya?
Girl: Haan Le Lena Par Yeh Toh Batao, Car ke Baare Mein Kyon Puchh Rahe Ho?
Choti Choti Cheez Insaan Ko Kitni Kushi De Deti Hain
Jaise
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'Choot' Hi Lelo!

Most emotional and heart-touching lines said by a boy to his girlfriend after breakup:
Jaanu Kum Se Kum Sardi ka Mausam Toh Nilkal Jane Do!

Raat Ko Aap Peg Marte Ho;
Subah Peg Aapki Marta Hai!

A couple had a fight.
Husband: I feel like informing everybody that you are useless.
Wife: Rehne do... I will myself inform everybody that I am used less!