If you can't afford porn, just turn on women's tennis and shut your eyes.
Weekends are like an orgasm. It takes a long time to reach it, and when you finally do, it's over in no time.
Ahhh Friday... my second favorite "F" word!
Q: What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
A: Men usually miss them.
When a bomb goes off in the middle of a herd of cows, there will be udder destruction.
Whenever I'm not spending my time being awesome. I spend it being fucking awesome.
Q: What's the similarity between a man and an uppercase Q?
A: They're both big fat zeroes with little dicks hanging off them.
Q: What's hard, long, and has cum in it?
A: A cucumber.
But I like the way you think!
There was this Eskimo girl who spent a night with her boyfriend and the next morning found out that she was six months pregnant.
Q: How do you tell an old man?
A: It isn't hard.
