For a change, wives would quote "Bharat Bandh" and not headache as an excuse for tonight.
3 Feelings:
Stress, Tension & Panic
Stress is when wife is pregnant;
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;
And Panic is when both are pregnant.
Bad: Your hubby says, "No more kids".
Worse: You can't find your birth control pills.
Worst: Your daughter borrowed them.
A mobile is like a woman:
Talks non-stop;
Costs a fortune;
Disturbs when U r busy;
And when U need it urgently, there's no service.
A young girl came fully tired and exhausted after her honeymoon. When her friends asked her what happened, she replied, "When this 70 year old bastard told me he has saved a lot from the last 50 years, I thought it was money".
Why can't a man satisfy a woman completely?
Because he doesn't have a dick made of gold, decorated with diamonds and ejaculates cash!
Typical Honeymoon photo pose: He's on a chair. She is standing.
Why typical?
.
..
...
He is too tired to stand up, she's too sore to sit down!
Q: What's the grossest thing in the world? A: Waking up after a night of oral sex with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth!
A woman in labour cursing her husband. Hubby(calmly): Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to put it up your ass but you thought that might hurt.
A burglar came into bedroom, tied up husband and wife, kissed wife's ear and went to bathroom.
Husband to Wife: "Satisfy him or he will kill us; Be strong, I love you."
Wife: He didn't kiss me, he whispered in my ear that he's gay & needs Vaseline: And I told him it's in the bathroom. So be strong I love you, too!
