What is the similarity between doing sex & doing surgery?
Skill is more important than the instrument.
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch. One lady turns and asks, "Do you still get frisky?"
The other replies, "Oh, sure I do."
"What do you do about it?"
"I suck a lifesaver."
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"
The Dean of Women of girls school was lecturing on sexual morality. "We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation," she said, "ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?"
A girl rose in the back of the room and said, "Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?"
Man quits smoking because of will power.
He quits drinking because of will power.
But he quits womanizing because he has the will but no power!
A kiss is:
Humanity if its on cheek;
Love if its on lips;
Passion if its on breasts;
Sensuous if its on navel;
Sex if its on vagina;
and Bravery if its on asshole!
Contraceptive Pill:
It's the second best thing that a women can keep in her mouth to avoid pregnancy.
I once had One2One with a Virgin;
She teased me till I had an Ericsson;
She deep-throated me till she was out of O2;
My face went Orange;
Finally, I laid her on a Table(t);
And I busted my Siemen all over her iPad!
Drinks: R 200
Dinner: R 5000
Hotel room: R 8000
The look on his face when she said, "I'm on my period": Priceless.
Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise.
A girl looks at a man's tattoos. NIKE on his arms, REEBOK on his legs and she screamed when she saw AIDS on his dick! "Relax" he said, "if it's erect, it reads ADIDAS"!
