It only takes 3.5 inches to please a woman. It doesn't matter if it's Visa or Master Card.
A young doctor just out of medical school announced to his wife that he planned to specialize in gynaecology. "Why did you choose gynaecology?", she asked.
He said simply, "There're a lot of openings".
Heaven is when you have barrels of beer and tons of girls.
Hell is when you find out that the barrels have holes and the girls don't!
A doctor asks a pregnant prostitute, "Do you know who the father of this child is?"
She quickly replied, "For goodness sakes, if you ate a tin of beans, would you know which one made you fart?"
Gone are the days when booze was booze, pussy was pussy, boss was boss & king was king. Now pussy is king, booze is boss & the boss is a pussy.
Q: What's the similarity between walking on the edge of Mt. Everest & getting a blow job from a 70 year old woman?
A: Whatever you do, don't look down.
Q: What do you call when 2 guys fight over a slut?
A: Tug-of-whore.
My girlfriend just broke up with me because she can't handle the "long-distance relationship" as she calls it; and which I call it a 'Dick'.
'Fucking' is one of those fucking words you can fucking put anyfuckingwhere in a sentence and it still makes fucking sense.
Girl: Doctor, my boobs are hard & aching.
Doctor: Let me see.
Doctor feels them & makes a face.
Girl: Is it bad?
Doctor: Not only bad but it's contagious too! Now my dick is hard & aching.
