When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, 'Congrats'!
But none of them comes and touches the man's 'dick and says "Well done"!
Moral: Hard work is never appreciated, only result matters!
Mr. Bates introduces his family-this is my wife - Mrs. Bates, my daughter - Miss Bates, and my son - Masturbates!
What's the difference between Guilt and Shame?
It's GUILT to sleep with another woman but it's a SHAME to miss the opportunity!
Being a "good listener" just means you're more desperate to wait a little longer for some pussy!
What's the biggest problem of an atheist? No one to talk to, during an orgasm..
What's the difference between an Umbrella and a Blouse?
UMBRELLA - you press and open;
BLOUSE - you open and press
Enjoy the monsoon with press and open or with open and press. Choice is yours, either ways you'll get wet!
Men are a lot like infants, if you want to shut them up, put your boobs in their mouth.
Did you hear about the guy who left his Viagra tablet in his shirt pocket when he sent it to the laundry? Now the shirt is too stiff to wear!
Why are women bad drivers?
Because the moment they touch the gear, their mind goes some place else!
Three two-letter words that begin
With I are a source of chagrin:
There are guys who can cry -
Even wish they could die -
At that soul-searing phrase "Is it in?"
