Alcohol does make you more attractive to the opposite sex - after they've drunk enough of it.
There was a young sailor named Bates
Who danced the fandango on skates.
But a fall on his cutlass
Has rendered him nutless,
And practically useless on dates.
An 88-year-old man married a 17-year-old girl. Returning from their honey-moon, he told a friend, "We made love almost every night".
Friend: How did you manage that at this age?
"Well,", said the new groom, "We almost made love Monday, we almost made love Tuesday..."
Q: Why do Jewish women go for circumcised men?
A: They can't resist anything with 10 per cent off!
Stupidity is never attractive. If you can't turn a woman's brain on, you'll never get her panties off!
Advice to Women by a Skin Specialist:
Always go out without wearing a BRA!
Nobody will notice the wrinkles on your face & dark circles under your eyes!
If you don't get a good appraisal inspite of giving your best, don't be disheartened. Even condoms are thrown away after 100% result oriented performance.
Q: If a married woman is called Polo - The mint with a hole; then what's an unmarried woman called?
A: Center Fresh!
A daughter-in-law and mother-in-law were engaged in a verbal spat.
Mother-in-law: I have carried him for 9 months.
Daughter-in-law: Only 3.5 kgs? I carry him every night and he weighs 80 kgs now.
Q: What's the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
