Ever wondered why A, B, C, D, E & F are used for bra sizes?
A for Almost boobs
B for Barely there
C for Can do
D for Damn good
E for Enormous
and F for Fake!
An old maid was held up in a dark alley. She explained she had no money, but the robber insisted that it must be in her bra, or in her panties and started feeling around.
"I told you I haven't got any money," the spinster said, "but if you keep doing that, I'll write you a check".
Secretary to boss, "All the other women in the office are suing you for sexual harassment".
Boss: You know I am not like that. Have I ever harassed you ever?
Secretary: I know it very well, Sir! And since you haven't sexually harassed me, I'm suing you for discrimination.
What are the 3 biggest lies?
1. I will pull out in time
2. Small is beautiful
3. I won't come in your mouth
Sign outside a Silicon Breast Implant Clinic:
If life has given you LEMONS, we will help you to rearrange them into MELONS!
1st night:
Wife: Please, not today. Let's celebrate our honeymoon only after we understand each other.
Husband: My 'under' is already 'standing' for you!
There are two things men really like women to do in hurry.
Dress and Undress.
Difference between bad and worse:
Bad: When your children find your last night's used condom.
Worse: When they insist you to blow that balloon for them.
Q. Which of the following doesn't belong?
(a) Meat
(b) Eggs
(c) Wife
(d) Blowjob
A. (d) Blowjob because it's possible to beat your meat, your eggs or your wife; but you can't beat a blowjob.
A man walks into a watch and clock store, unzips his trousers and slaps his cock on the counter. The woman behind the counter doesn't bat an eyelid. She looks him straight in the eye and says, "Put that away, Sir! This is a clock shop - not a cock shop!" "Well", replies the man, "why don't you put two hands and a face on it?"
