I was good at Maths, until the numbers started having sex with the alphabets.
Q: What is the similarity between a lady and a chewing gum?
A: Both are sweet and tight in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless later.
I don't resent my son for having a bigger penis than mine. I resent my wife for the fact that it's black.
Roses are red, grass is greener;
When I think of you, I play with my weiner!
A businessman comes home from work, and before he can even say anything to his wife, she greets him with a deep, passionate kiss. Then she pulls him into the bedroom, pushes him down on the bed, unzips his fly and shows him a great time.
Afterward, he stares fondly at her, then asks, "All right, what did you do to the car this time?"
Q: How do you know you're leading a sad life?
A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."
I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it...so I said, "Implants?"
A husband and a wife were fighting about their sex life.
The hubby complains, "You never tell me when you are having an orgasm?"
The wife replies, "How can I? You are never here."
"Hello, baby," breathed the obscene phone caller. "If you can guess what's in my hand, I'll give you some."
"Listen," said the woman, nonplussed, "If you can hold it in one hand, I'm not interested."
Human tastes change as people mature. Little girls like dolls and little boys like balls.
However, when they grow up, girls like balls and boys like dolls.
