The only time a man takes care of a woman's hair is while she is giving him a "Blow Job"!
A girl looks at a man's tattoos. NIKE on his arms, REEBOK on his legs and she screamed when she saw AIDS on his dick! "Relax" he said, "if it's erect, it reads ADIDAS"!
A man's elbow accidentally scrapes a lady's breasts.
Man: If your heart is as soft as your breast, you'll forgive me.
Lady: If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 320.
Q: Why was Philip's girlfriend disappointed?
A: Because she found out that Philips 12" was a television.
Some gals beg and some gals borrow;
Some gals lead and some gals follow;
Some brings joy and some bring sorrow;
But the best of all are the girls that swallow!
Q: What three things are common between the sun and a woman's underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both go down at night.
Q: What's the difference between riding a bicycle and riding a woman?
A: While riding a bicycle you fix your ass & move your legs; but while riding a woman, you fix your legs & move your ass.
Q: To make it straight she pulls it; to make it stand she rubs it; to make it stiff she licks it; And to let it in she pushes it. What's she doing?
A: Threading a needle
Three guys introduce themselves to a girl.
Hi, I am Peter-not a Saint.
Second: I am Paul-not a Pope.
Third: I am John-not a Baptist.
The girl retorts back. Nice to see you all. I am Mary-not a Virgin!
Q: What makes a man happy?
A: Daughter is on the cover of Vogue, son on the cover of Sports Illustrated, mistress on the cover of Playboy and wife on the cover of Missing persons.
