Sepoy Buta was marched up to the Regiment CO on a complaint received from the nearby Red Light area lady for non-payment of dues after services were rendered.
CO: Gaya Si?
Buta: Haan Saab.
CO: Keeta Si?
Buta: Haan Saab.
CO: Paise Kyon Nahi Ditte?
Buta: Saab, Affsaran Da Rate Mangdi Si!
A fan updated Brazil vs Croatia score
3 BRA - 1 CR
Alia Bhatt commented: Very expensive!

There are 2 ways of living life:
1. Ab Kya Hoga Bhenchod
2. Bhenchod Jo Hoga Dekha Jayega
Place Bhenchod correctly and move on in life!

The other day my wife asked me how I became so damn good at making love.
I told her she should thank all the women that came before her!

Karma is like 69:
You get what you give!

As a married man, when I say I lasted all night, what I'm trying to say is that I slept continuously without having to wake up in the middle of the night to pee!

There's a difference between men and women when they say, "I used up a whole box of tissues watching that film!"

Paisa Aapko Khushi De Ya Na De;
Lekin Paisa Ho To Khushi Aap Ko De Sakti Hai!

Airhostess: Sir, would you like some headphones?
Passenger: Sure, but how do you know my name is Phones?

Girlfriend's father (Army officer): Kitna Pyaar Karte Ho Meri Beti Se?
Boy: Bahut Zyada.
Girlfriend's Father: Uske Liye Goli Kha Sakte Ho?
Boy: Bina Goli Ke Bhi 20 Minute Khada Rehta Hai, Uncle!