This guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 7 shots of vodka. The bartender says, "Wow, must be a big occasion?"
The guy says, "Yeah, my first blowjob."
The bartender says, "How about I give you the 8th shot on the house."
The guy says, "If 7 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will!"
The Canadian government, in its eternal wisdom, recently passed two laws.
They are:
1. Legalized gay marriage
2. Legalized marijuana
Legalizing gay marriage and marijuana at the same time now makes perfect Biblical sense.
Leviticus 20:13 says: "If a man lies with another man, they should be stoned."
Apparently, we just hadn't interpreted it correctly before!
Abdul: I am banging two twins these days.
Friend: How do you differentiate between them?
Abdul: It's easy. One colours her nails pink and the other has a dick!
5 Science words to avoid saying when your class is finally on task:
1. Organism
2. Uranus
3. Fungus
4. Stamen
5. Pistill
I read that on an average Indian couples have sex twice a week, whereas Japanese couples have sex only once in six months.
I had no idea I was Japanese!
I have come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than Fuck!
I had a threesome last night.
Two people didn't show up though, so I had to take matters into my own hands!
After all these years my wife still thinks I'm sexy.
Every time I walk by she says, "What an Ass"!
My friend went to sell his kidney to buy an iPhone 11, came back crestfallen.
I asked, "What happened?"
He replied, "The bastards took out one testicle along with the kidney."
When I asked, why?
He said, "GST!"
Dear God,
My prayers to bring some sex in my life wasn't an invitation for the Government to start screwing me!
