Pardon my French but Louvre Lagê Pare Hain!
I asked the lady I met in the lift what perfume she's using.
LeaveMeTheFuckCologne, she said.
Never heard of it!
Expecting to get rid of covid and be completely free and fearless, once vaccinated is like thinking will never have to masturbate once married!
Today they said, "Wear a mask while driving alone."
Tomorrow they will say, "Wear a condom when you are sleeping alone!"
Lady: I have a husband I could never trust. He cheats on me all the time.
I am not even sure if the baby I am carrying is his!
3 Irish men in a pub called Mick, Pat and Tat. The barman says, "Are you all related?" Mick said, "Yeah we're triplets!" The barman said, "Triplets!, how come you and Pat are 6ft tall and Tat is only 4-Ft tall?". "Well!" said Mick "Me and Pat were breastfed so there was no tit for Tat!
Wife: I'm having a headache.
Husband: Do you know that sex can cure headaches?
Wife: No thanks, I prefer paracetamol. At least, it lasts for more than 3 minutes!
Patient: Doctor, I took two COVID-19 tests today. The nasal swab was negative (-) but the anal swab was positive (+).
What does this make me?
Doctor: A battery!
The first month, the boss gave his good-looking secretary a frock as an incentive. And in the second month, he 'raised' the incentive!
You can be a Doctor and save lives;
You can be a Lawyer and defend lives;
You can be a Soldier and protect lives;
or
Remain a Fucker and create lives!