I had to give up jogging, as it almost killed me. My thighs kept rubbing together and set my fanny on fire!
What is the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is using a feather, kinky is using the whole chicken!
Did you hear about the man who was arrested for having sex with a horse?
In his defence, he claimed it was a stable relationship!
Men have only two emotions: hungry and horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich!
Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!
Heights of WhatsApp smileys...
Girl: 🌙🔨👣🐓🌂👣
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Guy: Ab Ye Kya Hai?
Girl: Raat Ko Thokne Aaoge Toh Cock Pe Chattri Laga Ke Aana!
Lady: Doctor, I'm so sick! I feel dizzy, everything spins and my heart is burning.
The Man says, "Madam... First, I'm not a Doctor, I'm a Bartender. Second, you are not sick, you are drunk. And Third, your heart is not burning, your left boob is in the ashtray!
Today's wisdom:
Life is too short for arguments so just say 'Madarchod' and move on!
Interviewer: Please speak 2 lines about your wife.
My wife is my right hand. When she goes to her parents' house, my right hand becomes my wife!
Husband asked his wife while performing:
Husband: Honey, why do I get all my great ideas in bed only?
Wife: Because at that time you're plugged Into A Genius!
