Advise to Girls:
Do not play with stray dogs, you may get rabies;
And do not play with smart boys, you may get babies!
One day, an 80-year-old man comes home and finds his 80-year-old wife doing a handstand, naked, against a wall.
Shocked, he asks, "What are you doing?"
She responds, "I know you can't get it up, but maybe you can drop in!"
When you don't know whether to love or hate;
When you are in a totally confused state;
Don't feel bad and don't even debate;
Just close the door, sit alone and
.
.
.
.
MASTURBATE!
Old Lady: I want birth control pills.
Doctor: What good is it for you?
Old Lady: It helps me to sleep better.
Doctor: How?
Old Lady: I just put them in my granddaughters milk!
Girl: Fuck you!
Boy: Promise!
An old couple is ready to go to sleep. The old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor.
The old man asks, "Why are you going to sleep on the floor?"
The old woman replies, "Because I want to feel something hard for a change"!
A kiss is a gamble, sex is a game;
Boys do the action, girls get the blame;
They say you're pretty, they say you're fine;
But 9 months later, ÿou hear - "It's not mine"!
A girl looks at a mans tattoo: NIKE on his arms; REEBOK on his legs.
She screamed wen she saw AIDS on his penis.
Relax, he said, if its erect, it reads ADIDAS!
A share broker caught his wife in bed with her boyfriend, shocked he asked his wife, "What are you doing with him?"
His wife replied, "Darling, I've gone public!"
How the Brazilians are feeling: Brazil goalkeeper Cesar to Coach Scolari: I am sorry. I should have kept my legs together. Scolari: No son, it's not your fault. Your mother should have!
