Politics: (n.) Poli (Many)+Tics (Bloodsucking Creatures) = Many Bloodsucking Creatures |
Santa: You should learn to embrace your mistakes. Jeeto: Fine, give me a hug! |
Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate. Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier. Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes. Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving! |
My bed and I have a special relationship. We're perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up! |
Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Good Morning and Have a Great Week! |
Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, and divide the happiness! |
Husband: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Wife: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on! |
My fitness instructor wants me to touch my toes. But I don't have that kind of relationship with my feet! |
Doctor: What do you do when you feel stressed? Boy: I go to the temple. Doctor: Good! And do you do meditation there? Boy: No, I just mix up all the shoes kept inside and watch people feeling more stressed than me! |
Son: Dad, what happens when you die? Dad: You go to heaven. Son: No, I mean when YOU die. Will I get your stuff? |