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  • Politics:<br />
(n.) Poli (Many)+Tics (Bloodsucking Creatures) = Many Bloodsucking CreaturesUpload to Facebook
    Politics:
    (n.) Poli (Many)+Tics (Bloodsucking Creatures) = Many Bloodsucking Creatures
  • Santa: You should learn to embrace your mistakes.<br />
Jeeto: Fine, give me a hug!Upload to Facebook
    Santa: You should learn to embrace your mistakes.
    Jeeto: Fine, give me a hug!
  • Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.<br />
Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier.<br />
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.<br />
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving!Upload to Facebook
    Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.
    Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier.
    Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.
    Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving!
  • My bed and I have a special relationship. We're perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up!Upload to Facebook
    My bed and I have a special relationship. We're perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up!
  • Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life.<br />
Good Morning and Have a Great Week!Upload to Facebook
    Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life.
    Good Morning and Have a Great Week!
  • Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, and divide the happiness!Upload to Facebook
    Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, and divide the happiness!
  • Husband: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.<br />
Wife: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on!Upload to Facebook
    Husband: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
    Wife: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on!
  • My fitness instructor wants me to touch my toes.<br />
But I don't have that kind of relationship with my feet!Upload to Facebook
    My fitness instructor wants me to touch my toes.
    But I don't have that kind of relationship with my feet!
  • Doctor: What do you do when you feel stressed?<br />
Boy: I go to the temple.<br />
Doctor: Good! And do you do meditation there?<br />
Boy: No, I just mix up all the shoes kept inside and watch people feeling more stressed than me!Upload to Facebook
    Doctor: What do you do when you feel stressed?
    Boy: I go to the temple.
    Doctor: Good! And do you do meditation there?
    Boy: No, I just mix up all the shoes kept inside and watch people feeling more stressed than me!
  • Son: Dad, what happens when you die?<br />
Dad: You go to heaven.<br />
Son: No, I mean when YOU die. Will I get your stuff?Upload to Facebook
    Son: Dad, what happens when you die?
    Dad: You go to heaven.
    Son: No, I mean when YOU die. Will I get your stuff?
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