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Upload to Facebook My Mom was a radiologist. She met my Dad when he came in for an X-Ray. I wonder what she saw in him! -
Upload to Facebook I'm trying to organize a hide-and-seek tournament. But good players are really hard to find! -
Upload to Facebook I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night! -
Upload to Facebook My dentist told me "This might hurt a little bit. Are you ready?" I said, "Yes, I'm ready." He said, "I'm sleeping with your wife!" -
Upload to Facebook Mamta Banerjee is now the Bae of Bengal! -
Upload to Facebook At a party last night, all men were asked to form 2 lanes, 1 for those who are controlled by their wives & 1 for those who control their wives. Only 1 man stood in the 2nd lane. So I asked him how he manages to control his wife? He said, "What control? My wife told me to stand here!" -
Upload to Facebook Me: My mother still loves to talk about the time when I peed in my pants. Coworker: Oh so cute, how old were you? Me: 35 -
Upload to Facebook Ab Toh Ghar Bhi Train Jaisa Lagne Laga Hai... Bas Toilet Karke Aao Aur Apni Seat Pe Baith Jao! -
Upload to Facebook When Isaac Newton went into quarantine during the Bubonic Plague from 1665-1666, he used the time to work out the laws and formulas for Gravity and Motion. work out his theory of optics and the spectrum of light, and invent Calculus. But, don't feel any pressure, keep watching Netflix! -
Upload to Facebook Got drunk yesterday and puked in the elevator on my way back home. It was disgusting on so many levels!
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