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~ W. C. FieldsI spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted. -
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~ W. C. FieldsI am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. -
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~ W. C. FieldsI never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home. -
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~ W. C. FieldsSome things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.