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Upload to Facebook Just heard about a dwarf who was pickpocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low? -
Upload to Facebook The first 40 years of life are always the hardest! -
Upload to Facebook Now that I have lived through an actual plague, I totally understand why Italian Renaissance paintings are full of naked fat people laying on couches! -
Upload to Facebook I am suspicious of people who don't like dogs.
But I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person! -
Upload to Facebook Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's stormy, it doesn't mean that you are not headed for sunshine! -
Upload to Facebook Hate your job? Don't like spending long hours at work?
The solution is simple, get married. You'll start loving your job! -
Upload to Facebook On March 10th, 1876, Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone.
Exactly after 5 minutes, he received a phone call from his wife asking him why he isn't answering her calls! -
Upload to Facebook I've got a condition that causes me to make terrible puns.
It's a dad-ly disease! -
Upload to Facebook Why didn't 4 ask out 5?
Because he was 2²! -
Upload to Facebook The 20s - Invite everyone! The more the merrier.
The 50s - Do we have to have a party? I hate everyone!
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