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~ Spike MilliganChopsticks are one of the reasons the Chinese never invented custard. -
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~ Henny YoungmanI once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave it up - they have no holidays. -
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~ Lily TomlinWhy is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic? -
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~ Richard CurtisMost writers can write books faster than publishers can write checks. -
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~ Mark TwainSacred cows make the best hamburger. -
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~ Pappy MaverickNever cry over spilt milk. It could've been whiskey. -
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~ Groucho MarxThose are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others. -
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~ Sean LockWith mobiles, Apple and Blackberry are rivals. But in a crumble, they're harmony. -
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~ Groucho MarxI refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. -
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~ Grace HansenA wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.
