Upload to Facebook | The bravest man I ever knew once asked his wife to calm down and be quiet. However, he was hospitalized seconds later with several broken ribs, a shattered kneecap and a severe concussion. But what a brave man! |
Upload to Facebook | The reason I want to get ahead in life is so that I can be lazy once and for all! |
Upload to Facebook | Friend: Come fast, your wife is suddenly squinting her eyes, her lips are in a weird shape and her head is in a terrible angle. I think she's having a stroke. Me: Na, she's just taking a selfie! |
Upload to Facebook | The last time I was someone's type, I was donating blood! |
Upload to Facebook | The lottery is a cheat code in life but you have to guess it right! |
Upload to Facebook | She dimmed the lights. She leaned in. She looked straight into my eyes. I kissed her. And now I am arrested by the police for misbehaving with the optician! |
Upload to Facebook | My neighbour banged on my door at 3 am, screaming and shouting hysterically, the poor fella... Luckily, I was up practicing my drums at the time! |
Upload to Facebook | Did you hear about the seafood restaurant that will give you calamari in exchange for money? They practice 'squid pro quo'! |
Upload to Facebook | When a friend buys a new sim card. Abroad: Hey! This is my new number. Update it. India: Hello! Main Puja Bol Rahi Hun! |
Upload to Facebook | Sabko School Mein Pata Tha Ki Sardaron Se Panga Nahin Lene Ka... Par Agar Koi School Hi Na Gaya Ho, Toh Use Kaun Samjhaye! |
