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Upload to Facebook Woman 1: You said you wouldn't marry anyone. Men are animals. Still, you agreed to marry a guy!
Woman 2: It is not a bad idea to pet an animal! -
Upload to Facebook Wife: Ugh I gained 3 lbs during vacation. What about you?
Me (looking at scale showing I actually lost a pound): I gained 4! -
Upload to Facebook People are in our life for a reason, season or lifetime.
The pain comes when we put them in the wrong category! -
Upload to Facebook Carpets are dangerous. My wife tripped over it and I ended up sleeping on the sofa.
Okay, I laughed when she fell, but still! -
Upload to Facebook Me, 10 years ago: I can eat whatever I want.
Me 5, years ago: I can eat 3 slices of pizza, I'm watching my weight.
Me, now: I walked past Pizza Hut and gained 5 Kg! -
Upload to Facebook For our anniversary dinner, my wife gave me the freedom to choose whichever restaurant she wants me to choose! -
Upload to Facebook Wife: You need to exercise more often.
Me showing fitness app on phone: See, I did 5,200 steps last night.
Wife: True, but those steps were around the dinner buffet! -
Upload to Facebook Lockdown Lesson:
The cost of living is never expensive. It's the cost of lifestyle that is expensive! -
Upload to Facebook Judge nothing, you will be happy.
Forgive everything, you will be happier.
Love everything, you will be the happiest! -
Upload to Facebook They say early morning dreams come true.
Today I had a dream about winning an argument with my wife, so finally.. wait, I also had a dream about meeting Santa Claus. Forget it!
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