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Upload to Facebook My boss told me that there is no such thing as problems, only opportunities.
I said, "That's great. Well, I have a serious drinking opportunity"! -
Upload to Facebook Don't drink and drive, because there are people out there who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault! -
Upload to Facebook Pro Tip:
Drink until she's beautiful, but stop before you ask her to marry you! -
Upload to Facebook Listen drunk me & sober me are not the same person. So if drunk me said or did something, you need to take it up with drunk me.
Don't come at sober me because sober me wasn't there and don't know what happened between y'all! -
Upload to Facebook Surround yourself with people who have issues.
Because these people always have alcohol! -
Upload to Facebook If by bar-hopping you mean 'going to the garage fridge for a beer when you've run out inside' then yes, I still go bar-hopping! -
Upload to Facebook You're all invited to my recycling party on Saturday at 8 PM.
Bring a bottle or a few cans! -
Upload to Facebook Whisky is a brilliant invention, one double and you start feeling single again! -
Upload to Facebook Drinking Alcohol is great for my health.
It takes me three times as long to walk home from the pub! -
Upload to Facebook Before I go out binge drinking I always eat a stick of butter.
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It doesn't do anything I just like butter!
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