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Upload to Facebook Today somebody told me that I take criticism very badly so I punched him in the face! -
Upload to Facebook A friend of mine used to install kitchen work surfaces, but they arrested him for counter fitting! -
Upload to Facebook My neighbor says he is too afraid to plant an apple tree.
I told him, "Grow a pear"! -
Upload to Facebook Interviewer: why should we hire you as a waiter?
Candidate: For starters, I bring a lot to the table! -
Upload to Facebook Did you know that your pupils are the last parts to stop working after you die?
They dilate! -
Upload to Facebook Tomorrow is a special day. I have finally decided to let my girlfriend know that she's my girlfriend! -
Upload to Facebook Why did you choose to be cremated?
Being cremated is my last chance to have a smoking hot body! -
Upload to Facebook Punjabi Panda:
There are 2 Pandas:
The brave one, dedicated to fighting evil: Kung Fu Panda
The other one, who just doesn't care: Ki Farak Panda! -
Upload to Facebook I tried to have a conversation with my wife when she was applying a mud mask.
You should have seen the filthy look she gave me! -
Upload to Facebook I've just discovered that Bruce Lee had a vegetarian brother...
Broco Lee!
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