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Upload to Facebook I do not trip over things...
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I just perform random gravity checks! -
Upload to Facebook If the present situation continues, 'Car' may be added to the immovable property list! -
Upload to Facebook Just heard about a dwarf who was pickpocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low? -
Upload to Facebook Now that I have lived through an actual plague, I totally understand why Italian Renaissance paintings are full of naked fat people laying on couches! -
Upload to Facebook I've got a condition that causes me to make terrible puns.
It's a dad-ly disease! -
Upload to Facebook The 20s - Invite everyone! The more the merrier.
The 50s - Do we have to have a party? I hate everyone! -
Upload to Facebook Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?"
Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, err yeah, up to a point!" -
Upload to Facebook Being on vacation with kids is a great reminder of why you should never be on vacation with kids! -
Upload to Facebook Indian parents don't say 'Good Morning'.
They switch off the fan! -
Upload to Facebook I hate it when I wake up in the morning & I still have to be a responsible adult!
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