While at home: Why isn't there more kindness in the world? While driving: I hate every single person on this planet! |
My girlfriend complains a lot that I don't smile anymore. Well, she's the one who wanted a serious relationship! |
Saw an old man dancing in the street. I think he finally cleared his CA exam! |
I do not trip over things... . . . . . . I just perform random gravity checks! |
If the present situation continues, 'Car' may be added to the immovable property list! |
Just heard about a dwarf who was pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low? |
Now that I have lived through an actual plague, I totally understand why Italian Renaissance paintings are full of naked fat people laying on couches! |
I've got a condition that causes me to make terrible puns. It's a dad-ly disease! |
The 20s - Invite everyone! The more the merrier. The 50s - Do we have to have a party? I hate everyone! |
Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?" Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, err yeah, up to a point!" |