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Upload to Facebook Did you hear about the big Lego sale?
People were lined up for blocks! -
Upload to Facebook Why do programmers prefer the dark?
Because the light attracts bugs! -
Upload to Facebook The police just pulled me over and said, "Papers?"
I said, "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.
I think he wants a rematch - he's been chasing me for 45 minutes! -
Upload to Facebook It's been months since I bought the book, "How to scam people online."
It still hasn't arrived yet! -
Upload to Facebook I met my wife on Tinder.
That was awkward. Her profile says, "Single"! -
Upload to Facebook Afghanistan has banned Chess, calling it a dangerous game. Reasons are:
1. Queen doesn't wear a burkha.
2. Queen roams freely wherever she wants to.
3. Queen is more powerful than the King.
4. Queen goes alone to opponent's territory.
5. And... most importantly, there's only ONE Queen! -
Upload to Facebook Doctor, doctor... All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up!
Doctor: Sounds like a really bad case of parking sons disease! -
Upload to Facebook I finally was able to open my shoe store for only large-sized shoes.
Let me tell you, it was no small feet! -
Upload to Facebook What's the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
A literalist takes things literally.
A kleptomaniac takes things, literally! -
Upload to Facebook What's the one vegetable you should never bring on a ship with you?
A leek!
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