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Upload to Facebook Man: My wife is having severe mood swings.
Doctor: 5 pegs of whiskey will help.
Man: But my wife doesn't drink.
Doctor: Those are for you! -
Upload to Facebook Before marriage: Time stands still when I'm with you.
After marriage: My relationship with you isn't going anywhere! -
Upload to Facebook My wife completely ignores me when she watches Netflix. So I renewed my subscription for another 10 years! -
Upload to Facebook The Health Ministry is looking to hire couples married for 10 years or more to educate people on social distancing! -
Upload to Facebook In a British bar, a short discussion on arranged marriage took place as follows:
English Man: How could you marry a woman before knowing her?
Indian Man: How could you marry a woman after knowing her?
End of the discussion! -
Upload to Facebook Before marriage:
Husband: I love your curves.
Wife: You naughty boy.
After marriage:
Husband: I love your curves.
Wife: Are you calling me fat? -
Upload to Facebook My wife said I'd gotten fat since she married me.
I said "Yeah, you got 50% more of me. That's a great return on investment!" -
Upload to Facebook Doctor, filling medical report: You have a broken hand, severe concussion and bruised eyes. Are you married?
Me: Yes, but my wife didn't do it. I fell off the bike this time! -
Upload to Facebook Marriage teaches you a lot of valuable things.
For example, today I've learned that the fancy towels in the wardrobe are only for guests and not to wipe my ugly face! -
Upload to Facebook My wife just asked me if I was busy.
Now I may have to do things like taking the trash out or traveling to Mars and buy something!
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