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Upload to Facebook Wife: Ugh I gained 3 lbs during vacation. What about you?
Me (looking at scale showing I actually lost a pound): I gained 4! -
Upload to Facebook Carpets are dangerous. My wife tripped over it and I ended up sleeping on the sofa.
Okay, I laughed when she fell, but still! -
Upload to Facebook For our anniversary dinner, my wife gave me the freedom to choose whichever restaurant she wants me to choose! -
Upload to Facebook Wife: You need to exercise more often.
Me showing fitness app on phone: See, I did 5,200 steps last night.
Wife: True, but those steps were around the dinner buffet! -
Upload to Facebook They say early morning dreams come true.
Today I had a dream about winning an argument with my wife, so finally.. wait, I also had a dream about meeting Santa Claus. Forget it! -
Upload to Facebook During an argument with her husband, a wife was just about to calm down.
But then her husband asked her to calm down! -
Upload to Facebook First-year of marriage: I can't even imagine living without you.
The tenth year of marriage: Maybe you should buy a new house and move out! -
Upload to Facebook The only animal that a lion is afraid of is his lady lioness. So if you are afraid of your lady, that means you are a lion! -
Upload to Facebook My wife just stopped and said, "You weren't even listening, were you?"
I thought, "That's a pretty weird way to start a conversation!" -
Upload to Facebook Marriage is the process where the husband slowly finds out from his wife what kind of a man she would have preferred!
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