Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man how to fish, and you can bang his wife every weekend.
My brother stick to your normal 2 rounds with your wife. If you start going 6 due to this lockdown she might want to know who's been getting the extra 4 all this while. May wisdom be with you.
My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.
I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
With anal sex, I suggest you start gently. Find a slender midget. Or a member of Congress.
It's absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food.
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Did you ever notice the people who are most adamantly against abortions are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?
