Mature Quotes


sms

The purpose of sexual intercourse is to get it over with as long as possible.

I saw this nature show about how the male elk douses himself in urine to smell sweeter to the opposite sex. What a coincidence!

I saw my first porno film the other day. It was a Jewish porno film - one minute of sex, nine minutes of guilt.

sms

In advertising, sex sells. But only if you're selling sex.

Never do anything to a clitoris with your teeth that you wouldn't do to an expensive waterproof wristwatch.

sms

If you have an obsession about a man, sometimes you have to go to bed with him to get over it.

I'm pregnant. No need to applaud; I was asleep at the time.

sms

I like to date school teachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again.

I wanna open up a maternity shop and call it "We're fucked".

sms

I've kissed so many women I could do it with my eyes closed.