Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure.
Bob Hope
When he's late for dinner, I know he's either having an affair or is lying dead in the street. I always hope it's the street.
Jessica Tandy
My wife is a sex object - every time I ask for sex, she objects.
Les Dawson
I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me.
Tallulah Bankhead
Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.
Dorothy Parker
Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love.
Woody Allen
If three people having sex is a threesome, and two people having sex is a twosome, then I know why people call me handsome.
Anonymous
On Clinton: A man will occasionally step on his dick, but he shouldn't stand on it.
Kris Kristofferson.
Software is like sex, it's better when it's free.
Linus Torvalds
In America, sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world it's a fact.
Marlene Dietrich
