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I love money because my wife wants it all the time.

A very wise man once said..."I don't know. Go ask a woman.

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The British have three qualities: humour, tenacity and realism. I sometimes think we are still at the humour stage.

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When I fell in love with you, I should have realised that I am falling and not rising.

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A Xylophone is an instrument used mainly to illustrate the letter X.

I made quite a name for myself back home. I left when I found out what it was.

A German joke is no laughing matter.

I've got no bosoms. In Africa they went to name an underdeveloped nation after me.

If I ever have twins, I'd use one for parts.

The airlines are getting really security - conscious. You can still fly, but they won't tell you where you're going.

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