There's one thing about baldness; it's neat.
I wanted a vacation but my wife accompanied me.
Humour is falling downstairs if you do it while in the act of warning your wife not to.
I was on his fairground ride, and one minute I was laughing and the next I was crying. It was an emotional roller coaster.
I bought all those Jane Fonda videos. I love to sit and eat cookies and watch them.
The only time I ever said no to a drink was when I misunderstood the question.
Hollywood: A place where they shoot too many pictures and not enough actors.
Health is what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
My whole family is lactose intolerant; when we take pictures we can't say 'cheese'.
If you can't see the humour in yourself, you could be missing the joke of the century.