Never buy anything with a handle on it. It means work.
One sign of good manners is being able to put up with bad ones.
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we should never need solace.
One should forgive one's enemies, but not before they are hanged.
A tired exclamation mark is a question mark.
Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.
I like my whisky old and my women young.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good!
You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.