It's easy to distract fat people. It's a piece of cake.

When I was a kid, I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't understand what he said.

Pollution is so bad that when I put air in my tyres two of them died.

A women drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.

I doubt everything, even my own doubt.

A dolphin will jump out of the water for a piece of fish. Imagine what he'd do for some chips.

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

Egotism is the anaesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.

My kid is a born doctor. Nobody can read anything he writes.

When I was a kid, I had two imaginary friends. They would only play with each other.

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