Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
I hate when I'm about to hug someone really sexy and then my face hits the mirror.
Nothing unites the English like war. Nothing divides them like Picasso.
My maid laughs at me. She thinks I am poor and stupid because I do not use mobile phones.
~ on the ubiquitous nature of mobile phones
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
England and America are two countries separated by a common language.
We live in an era where pizzas show up faster than the police.