A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me.

A joke is a very serious thing.

A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.

If you want something that will last forever - take out a mortgage!

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Be obscure clearly.

As I get older, I just prefer to knit.

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