My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What good would that do?
If I had known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding, sings.
I have great faith in fools - my friends call it self-confidence.
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
I distinctly remember forgetting that.
Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.