Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems, and divide the happiness! |
Husband: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Wife: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on! |
My fitness instructor wants me to touch my toes. But I don't have that kind of relationship with my feet! |
Doctor: What do you do when you feel stressed? Boy: I go to the temple. Doctor: Good! And do you do meditation there? Boy: No, I just mix up all the shoes kept inside and watch people feeling more stressed than me! |
Son: Dad, what happens when you die? Dad: You go to heaven. Son: No, I mean when YOU die. Will I get your stuff? |
Life is ironic. It takes sadness to know happiness, noise to appreciate silence and absence to value presence! |
You know that burning sensation in your throat when you drink whiskey? That's your soul healing! |
Never depend on someone else to make you happy. That's what Beer is for! |
Teacher: 2 Flowers + 2 Flowers? Pappu: 4 Flowers. Teacher: Good! 6 Flowers + 5 Flowers? Pappu: 11 Flowers. Teacher: Very good! 22343 Flowers + 33453 Flowers? Pappu: A Garden! |
Man: Is it a crime to throw Sodium Chloride in your enemy's eyes? Police Officer: Yes that's assault. Man: I know it's salt but is it a crime? |