• You know when Donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking?<br />
That's what it's like having kids!Upload to Facebook
    You know when Donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking?
    That's what it's like having kids!
  • The word queue is ironic.<br />
It's just a 'q' with a bunch of silent letters waiting in a line!Upload to Facebook
    The word queue is ironic.
    It's just a 'q' with a bunch of silent letters waiting in a line!
  • School and College reunions are scams. Nobody misses you.<br />
They just want to know if you have made it in life or not!Upload to Facebook
    School and College reunions are scams. Nobody misses you.
    They just want to know if you have made it in life or not!
  • A Narcissist's Prayer:<br /><br />

That didn't happen.<br />
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.<br />
And if it was, that's not a big deal.<br />
And if it is, that's not my fault.<br />
And if it was, I didn't mean it.<br />
And if I did, You deserved it!Upload to Facebook
    A Narcissist's Prayer:

    That didn't happen.
    And if it did, it wasn't that bad.
    And if it was, that's not a big deal.
    And if it is, that's not my fault.
    And if it was, I didn't mean it.
    And if I did, You deserved it!
  • What happens if a politician drowns in a river?
<br />
That is pollution....<br /><br />

What happens if all of them drown?
<br />
That is a solution ....!!!Upload to Facebook
    What happens if a politician drowns in a river?
    That is pollution....

    What happens if all of them drown?
    That is a solution ....!!!
  • I once fell in love with a girl who only knew 4 vowels.
    She didn't know 'I' existed.
  • Dad: A sweater I purchased was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store.
    Family: Ok, so?
    Dad: They gave me another one free of charge.
  • When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful & difficult for others...
    The same applies when you are stupid.
  • Did you know that bees are actually allergic to pollen?<br/>
They break out in hives!Upload to Facebook
    Did you know that bees are actually allergic to pollen?
    They break out in hives!
  • I was walking past a farm and a sign said `Duck, eggs`<br/>
I thought: `That's an unnecessary comma` and then it hit me!Upload to Facebook
    I was walking past a farm and a sign said "Duck, eggs"
    I thought: "That's an unnecessary comma" and then it hit me!
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT