| My friend just got a job at the dentist. I said, "Is it full time?" He said, "No, I'm just filling in"! |
| I was driving on the motorway yesterday in a hearse. Police pulled me over for undertaking! |
| Have you ever wondered why, if any fact is twisted or falsified it is referred to as 'DOCTORED' And whenever a task is skillfully accomplished, it is always 'ENGINEERED'! |
| If Tom Cruise makes another "Mission Impossible" they better change the name to "Mission Implausible"! |
| My friend is a professional sleepwalker. He is living the dream! |
| A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher... |
| Government Officer Interview: Interviewer: Do you have any particular skills?` Candidate: I can turn a simple 20 minute task into a strenuous 2 hour task! |
| Patient: Doctor, I think I'm a moth. Doctor: It's not a doctor you need, it's a psychiatrist. Patient: I was on my way there when I saw your light on! |
| Do you know 'The little toe' is specifically designed to Geo-locate furniture in low light conditions! |
| Went to the shop the other day to buy 6 cans of Sprite. Only when I got home did I realise I'd picked 7up! |
