| I've invented a new game, it's called "Quiet Tennis" It's pretty much the same as normal tennis, but without the racket! |
| Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once! |
| Sri Sri: I teach Art of Living. Mallya: I teach Art of Leaving. Sri Sri: I teach Sudarshan Kriya. Mallya: I teach Pradarshan Kriya. Sri Sri: I clean the banks of Yamuna. Mallya: I clean the banks of India! |
| Interviewer: Any co-curricular activities in school? Candidate: Dramatics. Interviewer: Really? What did you do? Candidate: Acted like I understood Physics, Chemistry & Maths! |
| When a man steals your wife let him keep her, because revenge is a dish best served frigid! |
| What did I learn today? Being pansexual has nothing to do with cooking and sex in the kitchen! |
| Being on vacation with kids is just yelling at them in a different city! |
| Hi guys. I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you!!! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off! |
| News just in... The guy who took an airline company to court over his missing luggage has lost his case! |
| I hate a lot of things, but going somewhere I've already been with someone who has never been there has to rank right up at the top! |
