| Don't kiss your wife with a runny nose. You might think it's funny, but it's snot! |
| Kid: Dad, do you have a perfect visual memory? Dad: Yes son, pretty much. Why do you ask? Kid: I just broke your shaving mirror! |
| My kids have been throwing Scrabble tiles at each other again. It's all fun and games until someone loses an I! |
| It's always darkest before the dawn... . . . . . If you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the best time to do it! |
| Went swimming earlier, I had a wee in the deep end. Lifeguard blew his whistle so loud I nearly fell in! |
| Behind every 'Successful' businessman... there is a Nationalised Bank! |
| I treated the wife to one of those 'fish pedicures' and I must say I was very pleased with the result. Those piranhas did a great job! |
| When you mess up on chat... own the typo, be the typo and embrace the typo! |
| Teacher: Begaani Shaadi Mein Abdullah Deewana!! What is the meaning of this? Kid: Sir, when everyone is forwarding photos of Ambani Function! |
| My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party... So I made her and all her friends clean the house! |
