| Dear Diary, My new year resolution was to exercise every day. I must say I'm doing pretty well. So far I've missed only one day! |
| I never remember what people tell me at New Year's parties. It goes in one year and out the other! |
| My wife asked me if I wanted to watch Batman Forever on Netflix. I said, "No, only for the next couple of hours!" |
| Top three extreme activities: (3) Bungee jumping (2) Skydiving (1) Leaving the phone alone with your wife |
| Guys stop sending "Wish you and your family a happy new year" messages to me. I'm tired of going upstairs to tell my family each time I receive the message! |
| Boy: Main Aapki Beti Se Pyaar Karta Hun. Girl's Father: Status Kya Hai Tumhara? Boy: Hey there! I'm using WhatsApp! |
| Doctor: Your report is Corona Positive. Patient: Chinese or British? |
| Indian Vaccine: Old Monk Hi Kadha Hai! |
| Girls These Days: Saas: Yeh Tumhari Maa Ka Ghar Nahi Hai! Girl: To Ye Apki Bhi Maa Ka Ghar Nahi Hai! |
| It's Not That Diabetes, Heart Disease And Obesity Runs In Your Family. It's That No One Runs In Your Family! |
